Amnesia

I thought I saw you in the distance the other day, but as the person turned, I knew I had only forgotten.

How can it be that I see you everywhere?

Sometimes I see your face in dreams. Beside a train, one of us is coming or is it going?

You smile, your mysterious smile and there is a happy contentment in your eyes that I don't remember, somehow.

When I am excited and have news to share, I pick up the phone to

call and remember with pain, you are not there.

The pace of life moves on, but there are no more memories to be

made with you.

Oh my friend gone too soon, I have only amnesia to help relieve

the pain of this emptiness in my life your dying has left behind,

like traces of rain on a window pane.

Dedicated to my three amigos gone too soon, Betty, Mary and Theresa.

 THE KISS

    Your lips touched mine oh so softly

                                       in your Uncle's old green car

                                       the first time. So soft, I was surprised.

Then came a time of learning love.

19 red roses for my 19th birthday

Little things that meant a lot 

                                       Future hopes and silly jokes.

I gave you my Senior ring and you 

gave me more kisses and promises

of happiness and everlasting love

                                       I believed it all.

White lace and sweet promise

A time our lives entwined

We made our vows and began

a life together.

Our growing love gave birth to

a family, our house and our 

Life was rich in joyous chaos  

Watching our children grow.

Valleys of sorrow and peaks

of joy, we moved forward side

by side.  You were my all.

I was your "Bridge over Troubled

Waters".

Your eyes left mine, looked 

into another's. I was too

busy to see. You said you

loved me and your lips were still

                                        So soft, but the words 

didn't mean what they had.

On that day you left me, you kissed

me good bye.  It didn't mean

anything at all; you left and

The emptiness said it all.

Fifty years and more since that first

kiss, you kissed me again as you

Walked away with another. 

Your lips were still as soft. I was

                                         Surprised.

In my heart I know it  didn't

      Mean anything, really. Anything

       At all; the emptiness beneath the

                                       Kiss said it all; Judas' Kiss

       was just as soft.

                                                    IN THE SILENCE


In the silence of the Churches, waiting with eternal patience is our God Made Flesh.
In the silence of the plazas and the centers of commerce throughout the world, waiting with eternal patience is He Who created the world.

In the silence that veils our world now, take time to listen. 
Listen to the sweet loving voice within you for the Redeemer awaits you.

Don't be afraid of the silence, let it penetrate your being, stop all the noise
Listen to the voice of He who loved you more than His own life.

Let the true peace of Christ rest within your soul.  Remember we were not
created for the world, but rather the world was created for us.

Lean into the silence, take a deep breathe and put your head on His shoulder.
He has always carried the weight of the world, let go of your fear and anxiety.

Remember, there is life beyond this time and this place. 
Remember, He waits for you with loving arms wide open.

Oneata 3/21/2020

ELMWOOD

ELMWOOD



In the deep green peace of Elmwood
When my time on earth is done
And my shell remains.

Take the dust of me and leave it
Beneath the Memphis Skies
In the place called Elmwood.

Among the mighty, the fallen
Among the proud and poor
Among my kin and strangers
Lay me down once again.

Under these Southern skies I
dwelt in joy and sorrow,
Known love and awe
Held my babies and wept
For the hope I saw in their eyes.

Within this place, in this time
I will come to take my place
beneath the ancient boughs
Of Elmwood.

By the Mimosa tree, beside
Our loved ones, we watched
Grow through the passing years.

Remember, we came here
Passed many pleasant hours
Among the stones with fading
letters, beauty all around us.

Sharing many moments of peace and
Companionship, so much of what gives
substance to life, and nurtures our souls.
True Joy.

Remember me with smiles and bring
Your presence to this place when I
and gone.  Share the timeless pace,

Share the peace that dwells among
These stones and trees.  I will hear
Your voices and your laughter as
You pass.

My spirit will rejoice and my laughter
will echo in the breeze among the
Trees of Elmwood.

SWEET SERENDITY

SWEET SERENDIPITY

In the work a day world we decorate our tiny spaces with kids pictures, Holy cards, colored
calendars of places we hope to visit, mottoes and perhaps a living plant, all to remind us there
is a life, a real life beyond this carpeted jungle of padded half walls and whirling machines,
the constant ring of phones and conversations laying over one another weaving a blanket of noise.  

Within us there is still one small voice calling us to be more, have more, receive more of
life – real life, the life we nurture and protect at all costs from this harsh artificial life.  
Through the years, from the days of youth when laughs came easily and we each one
knew “We” would not spend out time in “Gopher land”as we called the office filled with
cubicles where heads popped up to talk when a spare moment allowed.  Then came the
years of struggling to make what we did most of our waking hours seem important,
fulfilling and yes even satisfying. As if these endless conversations and streams of paper
in and out of various receptacles meant something.  

No matter what the “business” in the end – it was never an end in itself, only a vehicle
carrying us from paycheck to paycheck, from some unintended beginning to a sudden stoppage,
whether of our own desire or another’s.

Looking back over the years of Monday mornings through the Friday afternoons of frenzied
excitement for the coming release for some short time away, what did it all mean?  What was
it about and most important of all, was it worth our limited time on earth? But, having said
this there is yet one aspect of our working life that should not be overlooked or under evaluated
– the deep and lasting friendships some of us formed.  The friendships born of mutual
hardships and shared sorrows bought by the passing years. Despite the artificial light and
forced elbow rubbing some of us formed friendships that outlasted our jobs. What a sweet
blessing this has turned into as we travel through the years. What a sweet unexpected surprise
to find our old friends are still the best of friends especially those that toiled with us, side by
side, in Gopher land.

Evening Shadows

Evening falls on my castle walls

shadows fall

upon the casement

Night calls

I love the shadows of

light laying lightly upon

the air

Such solace is rare

Shadows caressed space

Day pranced

thoughts, all cares

erased.

Let silence embrace

Let the moment resolve

devolve, resolve

peace make its case

End the endless race.

JULY 2018

Sam, A Life of Love and Service

Tonight as I drove home from Sam Spector's funeral, I watched the sky turn from day into night. The trees were black cutouts against a deep gray quilt of clouds with open seams of silver. I thought I glimpsed the light of the stars behind the clouds. As night came on the seams were drawn together by the hand of night until the darkness was complete. Somehow this made me think of Sam. Maybe it was because he was such a bright star in the morning of our lives and our lives seem a little darker now that he is gone. He radiated joy and strength and confidence. He made you believe anything was possible. He was a sweet person with a solid core of goodness. Somehow, I knew that no matter the circumstances he would make things right.

As age began to take its toll on him, he never complained of pain or admitted to any aliment. He literally “soldiered” on. When he was 86, he could walk my feet off!! I have a memory of trying to keep up with him as we trotted down cobblestone streets in Rome.

Yet, time is a theft to all of us and Sam was no exception. Time did its best to rob Sam of memory. He did lose the names of common objects, but somehow he kept going and never let on that things were getting difficult for him. It seemed that as long as he had Virginia, he had everything he needed.

Some years ago,Sam told my brother (his son-in-law), that even if Virginia just left the room, he missed her. Knowing this, as hard as losing him was, I think his losing her would have been much, much worse. Now, he will never know that pain. Virginia, dear, loving, patient Virginia does know this deep pain. No one can hold it away from her. Only she can bear it. After all, Sam and Virginia spent 70 years as man and wife, loving one another, raising a family having thriving careers and living the dreams they shared as young people in the wake of World War II. Still, I think she would rather it be this way. Love is like that.

Losing Sam is such a blow to all who knew and loved him. Our world has become poorer by this loss, but so much rich for the many gifts he give us. These gifts will live on in the lives of all who knew and loved him, those who benefited by his heroic service in World War II, the children of Malmar (formerly known as Burma) in the school and library he helped to found, the students he taught and all the people he mentored, people living in the many homes he built and, every life he touched. It is as if he left a road map for our future, one labeled, “How to make the world a better, kinder place for all”.Yet beyond all of this that I write, there is much more. His family, Virginia, Julie and Tom have intimate knowledge and understanding of Sam; his life and the reality of his magnificence and the indelible marks he made on them. Much of his story is only known by them.

Heaven is graced with another star. May we look heavenward and think of you when the stars peer down upon us, Sam.